Joyce in Space: James Joyce’s Use of Words Beginning with ‘A’ and their Connections to PostModern NonEdible Vegetables

~Post by Brian C.

You may have heard about the European expiry of the Copyright on the work of James Joyce. And if you’re anything like me, you got real excited. For too many years Stephen Joyce has held tight to a legacy that isn’t really his. Copyright Law isn’t meant to allow people to hoard culture in a tightly wrapped fist with only one finger pointed out (you know which finger that is). It’s meant to promote production. Although Stevie Joyce’s exploits are notorious, they haven’t really stopped the world from using James Joyce’s work to build a small but profitable genre in the Literary Marketplace. Joyce Studies has been viable, and will continue to be so. The idea that a new era and influx of Joyce related material will now hit the bookshelves is probably unrealistic. There are a lot of books and articles written on Joyce every year, and I predict that academia will neither bump-up, nor scale down their output. So my unpublished manuscript Joyce in Space: James Joyce’s Use of Words Beginning with ‘A’ and their Connections to PostModern NonEdible Vegetables will still have a hard time finding a publisher. But what this really means is that Joyce might now find its way into new markets, more commercial, non-academic markets. Markets that can’t fit any of the parameters of fair use doctrine. Here are a few things I’m looking forward to:

A film adaptation of Ulysses. The car chase scene will be difficult to film, but a top tier director, I’m thinking  Peter Jackson, could really make it shine. Conventional wisdom tells us that Bloom will be played by Owen Wilson or Jon Voight, but since Meryl Streep gets first right of refusal on all roles, ever, Ms. Streep will most defidently be walking the streets of Dublin in this special effects blockbuster.

Kanye West is free now to release his concept album based on Finnegans Wake.

It goes without saying that Stephen Sondheim will end his illustrious career by composing the musical, Dedalus’s Last Stand. The production, sure to be a Broadway hit, will be performed exclusively by the cast of Glee. Costumes will be minimal and the lute will reign supreme.

Starbucks will rename their bottomless cup (do they have one of those?) “James Joyce’s Stream of Consciousness”.

Last, but not least, I predict the perfect marriage between two of the creepiest looking men of the 20th Century: James Joyce and Ronald McDonald. What kid wouldn’t want a limited edition James Joyce Happy Meal? The meal is full of all the nutritional deliciousness of the standard Happy Meal, but this one comes with the “Gerty McDowell Action Figure and Beach Kit”.