Dear BookPeople Blog readers: It is my sublime pleasure to introduce you to our resident expert E.D. Williams- a gentleman, scholar and trusted confidant. By reading the following post, you are taking the exhilarating first step on a twelve part journey inside the mind of a true American genius. I wish you luck, you’ll need it.
Words of Williams
FREE CAKE AND ICE CREAM!!!
Hello there. My name is E. D. Williams and I apologize for lying to you earlier. There is in fact no such thing as free cake and ice cream. Disappointed? You should be. What’s all this talk about not having time to read anymore? I know you’ve been busy lately but there’s no excuse. It’s time for some tough love and if I’ve learned anything from those trips with Mother to Alcoholics Anonymous, it’s this: People need a 12 step program. But before we get into all that, let me just thank you for taking the time to get this far into the paragraph. I realize your time is precious and I applaud you. Congratulations. Moving on.
Step One: The Short Story, only shorter.
Let’s take this puppy out for a spin.
“Oh, poor Dad. I’m sorry I made fun of you.
Now I’m spelling Nietszche wrong, too.”
Oh my goodness gracious! Do you realize what just happened? In the record amount of time it would have taken you to read the cooking instructions from a box of delicious Zatarain’s Cajun Style Rice, you just read a short story by Lydia Davis. SHAZAM! Just like that. Let’s not get carried away though. I don’t think we’re ready to tackle the story in short form made long-winded by Faulkner just yet. Baby steps my friend. Baby steps. I suggest we keep the training wheels on and coast for a while. Maybe work up to a few choice works from O. Henry for lunch and who knows, before long you’ll be “Drinking Coffee Elsewhere” with Z.Z. Packer. HA! Did you see what I did there? Oh, the universe is rife with irony. But seriously, I made you a real dandy of a guide. Feel free to cut along the perforated line, laminate, and put on your person to reference with frequency.
It’s that easy my friend. So the next time you’re between chopping firewood, nursing babies, or whatever it is that keeps you so preoccupied during the work week, remember that what happened here today doesn’t even happen in China. Let Freedom Ring!
Love,
Engle Dale Williams
BookPeople 
LOVE LOVE LOVE
speak for yourself my dear, we (as in kids and I) read every night..love it. Plus joined a writer’s circle and have extra appreciation for writers who actually make a living..
alright..can’t wait for installment number 2 [s]
My dear Ingrid,
I am as pleased as Hawaiian Punch that you and your kids make reading an important part of your daily routine. Reading is a favorite past-time that my mother and I shared. Although I feel that I was too young for her to be reading Stephen King’s Tommyknockers as a bedtime story, I thank her daily for instilling that in me at an early age. And to you I say thank you for your comment. Your feedback acknowledges that there are people out in that wide world who are making time to read for themselves and their children.
Till the next exciting installment,
E.D. Williams
Oh, E.D.W.
My mind grapes thank you.
Grapes make wine and you my dear, are a lush!!